We'd like a massage with that wine and history lesson, please.

We promised you mud, wine and a bus in our last post. That turned out to be two truths and a lie, because we traded the mud for more wine.

After a seriously frustrating, stressful, and angst-ridden trip (jokes) we decided we needed a spa day (this part is true).

A quick bus ride out of the city of Prague brought us to Karlovy Vary, a spa destination for the Real Housewives of Eastern Europe. They're known for their weeks-long treatments for many diseases and health issues, which center on the healing powers of the thermal springs in the town.

The town of Karlovy Vary

Here were our treatment options:

• Beery massage or bath (Czechs like to add -y to everything. Quesadilly, Americany, beery, you get the idea.)
• Underwater massage
• Grape oil baths, which will "leave you feeling pleasantly inebriated"
• Mud packs
• Individual curative gymnastics (??)
• Electrotherapy
• Pneumopuncture (I'd like to keep my lungs intact, thank you)
• Anticellulite peeling (ew/ow)
• Wine massage or bath

The choice was clear to us. Wine massage and bath, for a whopping $35 each. As a sidenote, all of these spa options really do exist. I'm not sure if it's a bad translation that makes them so funny, but Alysa and I were laughing like crazy while we did our spa-day research. 

The town of Karlovy Vary was adorable. It was situated on a little river that was fed by hot springs so they continually let off steam. The crystal shops and high-end retailers were clearly tailored to their affluent, hypochondriac clients, as were the ritzy martini bars. 

I don't mean to stereotype, but your fur coat makes it difficult not to. 

Adorbs!

The wine massages and bath included wine oil, a glass of wine, and lots of bubbles. Heavenly. I was so relaxed afterwards that I'm not sure how my legs took me down the street. 

Just a little bit happy.

We spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the cute shops and their sparkly contents. We briefly considered  swimming in the hot springs, but we smelled so pretty from our spa treatments that the sulfur aroma deterred us. 

Thermal springs

Dinner was excellent, as have been many of our meals in Prague. We found a Czech restaurant that had awesome potato-mushroom soup, fried potato pancakes and Czech beer. I also had the opportunity to try mead, which was delicious. Our next two meals were at veggie restaurants, totalling four veggie restaurants visited in Prague! And all were amazing, actually really good food. I've been spoiled. We often pat ourselves on the back for our membership in the Clean Plate Club. By "often", I mean every meal. 

Yummy veg food

Before....

After. Where'd it all go??

The next morning we cranked out the rest of our must-see destinations in Prague, starting with the Jewish Quarter. Prague has a lot of interesting Jewish history because they were persecuted twice in recent history; once in the 1600's by the Hapsburgs, whose palace we visited in Austria, and also during the long Nazi occupation of WWII. 

Our first stop of the Jewish Quarter was a synagogue that was covered in names of those who died in WWII. It was twelve thousand names that completely coated the interior . It was a very moving sight to see, especially because many of the last names were familiar to us.

Last names are in red, first names in black

The next sight was the Jewish cemetary, where these thousands of people were buried on top of each other. The cemetery was full of crooked gravestones that reminded me of rotten teeth. We found a gravestone along the path that had a few foreign coins resting along the top, including a US quarter. It's somewhat comforting to think of all of the visitors that pay their respects to this cemetery. 

The tour continued with Jewish museums and synagogues, which were both beautiful and informative. We're covering our bases on religious history on this trip - Islam in Istanbul, Catholic churches in Vienna, and Jewish history in Prague. We're engineering-religion extraordinaires (but don't quiz us on the religion part).

The Spanish Synagogue

We satisfied our geek quota for the day by spending a solid half hour staring at the clock in the main square. It's seriously the coolest thing. It tracks the sunrise and sunset, time of the day, Saint of the day, season, and Zodiac sign. Every hour, Death rings his little bell (why must we be reminded of death hourly?), the twelve apostles march past their little window, and the rooster crows. It's almost more entertaining to watch the crowd of tourists that find this so fascinating. 

In late afternoon, we were nearing the end of our Czech Crowns and counted 500 between us. This amounts to 27 dollars for us to spend on a museum, dinner, and dessert, which doesn't sound like much but goes a long way in Prague. I was excited to spend it ALL. Priority went to dessert, of course, then dinner. Museum came last on the list, but it turned out to be excellent (and free) because it was a deserted convent. The buildings were built in the 1200's by King Wenceslas' sister who wanted to start a hospital. It was a gem of a site, untouched by tourists. 

St. Agnes Convent

We scrupulously calculated our dinner costs before ordering, which seemed ridiculous but was entirely necessary to leave enough cash for two trdelniks. These are those doughy on the inside, crunchy on the outside, rolled in cinnamon sugar street food desserts that we couldn't leave Prague without. I told Alysa that we would have to sing and dance on the street corner if it was the only means to a trdelnik. No worries, it didn't come to that. We mathed it out. 

My last Czech hundo

Like I say after every town, I'm going to miss Prague. We ate well, drank fantastic beer and gluhwein, learned a few things, and wandered the lovely winding little streets day after day. 

Bye, Prague!

On to Krakow!!

Love,

Melissa and Alysa